Back to School

I’m posting this information as background for future posts, as my journey through life now includes a journey through college.

I didn’t go to college at the “normal” age. Actually, I didn’t finish school at the normal age. I did start at a public junior college after high school. However, attendance was not enforced in college like it was in high school. I quickly discovered, in the confusion and lust-filled fog that was my brain, that I could skip class (something I had never dared do even once in high school) and masturbate in the men’s room (and watch others do the same). I didn’t complete a single class that first semester. I dropped out, never to go back. I even lied to my future wife for a while, telling her that I was still going. This chapter of my life was not exactly my shining hour, and I’m not proud of it.

It was with the memory of my failed first stint in college that I started again in 2009 at the age of 45, this time going online to a Christian school. I’m a little more than halfway through my Bachelor’s degree and have finally settled on a major, since I pretty much had to, having completed all the general courses and not wanting to take (and pay for) extra classes not needed for my eventual major.

Praying through the choice of a major, I came to the conclusion that I need to learn about myself and other people to help me through my relationships with my wife and kids, to be a better minister to others, and to help me understand myself and why I am the way I am. Of course, I rely on God to reveal the most important things about Him, others and me, but having an education in that area can only help me understand His revelations. I chose as my major Psychology, with a specialization in Life Coaching. When it was offered, I later changed my specialization to Addictions and Recovery.

It’s taking a long time to get through school, since I work full-time and only go to school half-time around family, church and Celebrate Recovery responsibilities.

I have no career goal related to going to school. So, why am I going? I need to finish something in my life. I can’t look back and say that I’ve ever finished much; a lot of what I have done (and finished) has been sinful. And God has used it to teach me about myself and show me more progress I need to make in various areas of my life. So, I’m on this ride, taking a step at a time through school, letting God lead to where He wants it to lead. If it eventually results in a career move that He ordains, great. If not, it will still be worth it for my self-esteem (I will be able to know that I completed something good and worthwhile) and, I might just have learned a few things in the process.

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